What Lights You Up?
It was a month ago today that I stepped off the plane from a 15 hour flight, onto the sacred land of India and into a two week period of my life that will forever remain precious to me. My eyes popped open wide almost from the minute I deplaned, taking in the huge golden mudra (sacred hand gesture) sculptures on the walls of the airport, the crowded walkway to the car and the hectic traffic on the streets lined with fragrant plumeria trees. From the moment I was there, I was excited yet grounded, in constant awe and wonder and learning new things every moment.
I won’t give you a rundown of the whole two weeks (I did a reel on that here), but I will share my biggest takeaway, one month to the day that I landed on sacred ground and on what is a holy day today in India, Diwali, the festival of lights: I was lit up in a way that I had never felt before and my body mirrored that within a few days of walking on that land. My digestion was perfect. My mood, calm (for the most part). My skin, clear. My mind, focused. My energy, abundant. Granted, I realize I was on vacation and did not have the pressures of work and schedule to bind me in any way. But that got me to thinking: How do we take that light we feel during one moment in time and transport it to any point in time? How do we carry it within us, despite life’s circumstances and challenges?
When I returned home, I had brought something with me that wasn’t so pleasant. Not only was my body purging just about everything, my mind was at a low point. I was depressed and missing that India light so badly. Missing strangers warmly calling me sister, cows nearing for a quick neck scratch, monkeys flinging an occasional shell in my direction from the trees above, the sounds of the morning Aarti bells, the sun coming up over the Himalayas and reflecting on the holy Ganges, and the food (ohh, the food!).
I finally went to the Western doctor and was treated for a bacterial infection. When my strength returned, so did my spirit, but I was still missing mother India, and specifically, Ma Ganga. We stayed on the Ganges for a week in Rishikesh and every sunrise I sat on one of her rocks, feeling the breeze off her flowing surface, listening to her waves hitting the rocky shore as she drove onward. We arrived just at the end of monsoon season and oh, how full she was with water, with life. I treasured those early morning hours on that rock with the nearby ashram Aarti bells ringing in the sun’s rays.
Once my health improved, I met with a friend who understood the heaviness of my heart. He, too, had had an experience that was so deeply moving that his life would never again return to what it once was. And I messaged with my other India group friends who were also transitioning back to life here, but with the added India experience etched on their hearts. All the conversations got me to pondering how to keep that light, without clinging, and without continually trying to relive bits of the experience in my mind, like a video on loop, which was equal parts torture and bliss.
For me, the answer to the aforementioned question of how to keep the light burning, has come slowly, but surely. Simply, it came by finding it here, where I am, in every moment. It is always here. It came with taking time to sit in the sun, facing east, feeling her rays, just like I did on the Ganges. It came with taking the time in my kitchen, nourishing myself and my family with fresh food. It came with paying attention to my body and its reactions and nurturing it to the place of good digestion and clear skin and focused mind. It came with daily Dharma reading and with writing my heart’s song to India.
But that’s me. What about you? On this Diwali, what lights you up? How can you carry that into every day, even just a little bit?
It is my hope that you take some time today, or any day, to recognize the light within you and ponder ways to nurture it, even in what seem to be the darkest of times. Here is a beautiful version of the Gayatri Mantra, the mantra of light, by Sam Garrett to listen to while you ponder. 💛
And if you’re hungry, here is the recipe I was inspired to create once my health returned, and a reel of me making it.
